Do as I Say Not as I Do Bill Approved for Tier1 Citizens in Europe

Citizens angry at new 'Lords and Serfs' bill

The Bill's Grand Unveiling

In a move that has left many Europeans angry, the European Parliament has passed a new bill, dubbed the "Do as I Say Not as I Do" bill. Focused around controlling carbon consumption, one mandate enforces all car sales to be electric by 2030. However, the wealthy can pay a "carbon offset fee" so exorbitant it will become a status symbol to keep a gas-guzzling sports car. Critics call it a luxury tax only millionaires can afford, creating a two-tier system where the elite pollute freely while the average citizen scrambles to comply with unaffordable green mandates.

The bill also slaps new taxes on air travel and groceries for the masses, preaching carbon footprint reduction. Yet, private jet owners, often the same globalist EU members behind these policies, get a free pass by paying the same "carbon offset fee". "It’s about making sacrifices for the planet," said one MEP, shortly before jetting off to a climate summit in Davos. The hypocrisy is clear "do as I say, not as I do", leaving ordinary citizens to foot the bill for a greener Europe.

The Unsurprising Supporter

Shocking to no-one, the bill has won praise from Greta Thunderberg, the iconic environmental activist known for her fiery and thunderous climate rants. Thunderberg hailed it as "a step toward sustainability." However, she later came under fire when a stock called UN Electric, an IGO owned electric car company was discovered in her portfolio. Adding further fuel to the fire, the stock had been gifted to her by the same EU globalists behind the IGO. "It's a bloody marketing stunt!" exclaimed one angry citizen.

Her support has sparked accusations of hypocrisy, with critics noting that her carbon-heavy, globetrotter lifestyle, clashes with her preaching's. "She’s telling us to ditch cars while she sails off into profit," fumed one observer. Thunderberg’s stance revealed a bitter truth: even the greenest of crusaders seem to thrive under policies that burden the 99%. "She's a useful idiot, and one they'll keep rolling out every time they want to remind us," one man grumbled as he waited an hour to charge his car on the motorway.

The Public's Bewilderment

Across Europe, citizens are reeling from disbelief and exhaustion. Social media buzzes with #EliteHypocrisy, as people vent about rising costs and shrinking freedoms. "I can’t afford an electric car, for me, it's second-hand petrol or nothing," tweeted one user. Another griped, "The rich keep their Lambos, but I’m taxed to death for a Ryanair flight." The bill’s fallout is pricing people out of homes, cars, and travel, entrenching a caste system, with one user claiming that even food is now elitist, "I can't even afford a steak! It's categorized as 'carbon inefficient' so they slapped a huge tax on it. I'm a walking human guineapig, eating lab grown meat, while they're out there eating grass-fed wagyu!"

Protests have flared in cities like Paris and Berlin, with chants of "We’re not your serfs!" echoing through the streets. "They lecture us on emissions while flying private jets to Bali," said a demonstrator. Yet, EU officials shrug off the unrest, calling it "misguided." For the 99%, it’s not just about money, it’s about watching the elite widen a gap they’re forced to fund.

Doubling Down on Hypocrisy

Undeterred, EU Commission President Ursula Von Der Lying doubled down in a press conference, calling the bill "essential for a sustainable future." She touted collective sacrifice and that "We must lead by example," she said, ignoring the irony. On the "carbon offset fee" for the rich, she waved away concerns: "Carbon fees will fund green projects, enriching all of us" though details remain murky as to how the greater public will be enriched by any of this.

Analysts see a power grab: "It’s a system where the 1% rule and the 99% pay." Von Der Lying’s parting shot? "We’re all in this together, some of us just have better seats." Her words, meant to soothe, instead stoked outrage, cementing the bill as a symbol of a Europe where globalist elites soar above the rules they impose on everyone else.

If you spot any tenuous connections, similarities, or parallels to today's political chaos, your imagination is working overtime. We are satirical. Those connections just aren't real. Enjoy the satire.